Stop Dating Like the World Dates: A Heart Check for Christian Women Waiting on God

A woman in one of the Christian groups I’m in recently asked a beautiful question:

“What faith-filled dating wisdom would you share with a woman in her 30s preparing for marriage?”

Beautiful question.

But then I scrolled the comments.

Yes — there were truly godly answers… but there were also SO many responses full of cynicism, fear, suspicion, self-protection, and almost zero faith.

“Make peace with being single forever.”

“Check for personality disorders.”

“Don’t just trust God — be realistic.”

I felt something rise up in me.

Because if you are one of the Christian women waiting on God for marriage, then you CANNOT allow your heart to be discipled by the world’s fear, the world’s “data-driven” suspicion, or the world’s pessimism.

The world dates from suspicion.

The Kingdom dates from FAITH.

Of course you need boundaries. Of course you need discernment. Of course you don’t ignore red flags.

But fear-based dating is not wisdom.

Suspicion does not equal discernment.

Hypervigilance is not the Holy Spirit.

Biblical discernment flows out of abiding in Christ — not anticipating doom.

And the cynicism… oh my goodness.

We also have to be honest about this: social media has discipled a LOT of women more than Scripture has in this area. We are scrolling for “advice,” bingeing dating TikToks, listening to secular podcasts, watching Love Island and Married at First Sight — and whether we realise it or not, all of that begins to contaminate the way we approach dating. Without God leading… dating IS a minefield. And we start thinking the safest way to survive that minefield is self-reliance. But self-reliance is actually rooted in not trusting God — it’s the belief that it’s all on me to make it happen, to prevent pain, to avoid mistakes, to be smarter than heartbreak. That mentality might feel strong — but spiritually, it’s weak. Because it removes God from the centre and places YOU in charge of destiny.

Since when did Christians start believing that God can’t bring the right man?

Since when did we act like God is passive and we have to orchestrate everything ourselves?

He is the God who brought Eve to Adam.

He is the God who aligned Ruth with Boaz.

He is the God who moved Joseph across nations to position destiny.

God is a match-maker.

Not Tinder.

Not statistics.

Not algorithms.

And yes — God CAN literally bring a man into your life in a way you didn’t expect. He’s God. He’s not limited to dating apps or church socials.

But here is the real issue underneath all those fearful/cynical comments:

a lot of Christian women have internalised:

“I am on my own.”

And that belief will poison your faith.

This is exactly why the enemy loves cynicism. Cynicism feels intelligent. It feels protective. It feels like “wisdom.” But really, it’s just unbelief wearing a sophisticated outfit. It is a very quiet inner agreement with the kingdom of darkness that says: “God probably won’t come through for me.” And those inner agreements matter. They shape how you date, how you show up, how you discern, and how you risk love.

If you believe you are on your own — you will date like the world dates:

• self-protecting

• hyper-guarded

• scanning for pathology

• expecting disappointment

• assuming God won’t show up

But when you shift into Kingdom faith — your posture changes.

You still walk wisely.

You still don’t rush.

You still listen for peace or hesitancy.

But your core belief is:

God is active in my story.

And that is the posture hell hates — because THAT is when God can surprise you. THAT is when you stop forcing. THAT is when He can align your path with someone who genuinely loves Jesus and is being prepared for you too.

So here is my advice to that dear woman (and to every woman reading this):

Stop dating like the world dates.

Stop letting cynicism be your logic.

Stop letting fear be your counsel.

Date from FAITH.

You are not begging God.

You are partnering with Him.

And if God has placed the desire for marriage inside of you — He will honour it in His time.

Keep your heart open.

Keep your standards holy.

Keep your posture surrendered.

And trust that God is not passive about your promise.

Beth

About Bethany:

Bethany waited years for God to fulfil His promise of marriage — and saw Him move in a way only He could. Now she helps women pray like Hannah did, trust God’s timing, and prepare their hearts for the blessings He’s promised. She’s the writer behind Faith Like Hannah, a devotional brand for women walking through the waiting season with hope.

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